A few basic rules every Director should follow.

1: If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines….

The excess heroes or heroines should be killed..

They leave the scene before the end of the movie.

2: If there are two or more heroes in the movie..

They will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes and still not make up their mind.

Should love the only sloppy heroine available in the movie and sacrifice her to his friend.

3: Any court scene must have a dialogue " Objection Milord". If it is said by the hero or by his lawyer it will be sustained, other wise it will be over ruled.

4: The hero's sister is always engaged to the hero's best friend, if not she will be raped by the villain and will commit suicide ...If it is one of those SarathKumar Panchyathu films,she will be married off to the villain (yuck).

5: The hero's revolver should act like a submachine gun.. firing nearly 100 bullets/sec….especially in Vijaykanth's movies… where captain uses a revolver to kill 50+ Kashmiri terrorists.

6: The hero can easily evade through the heavy security laid by the heroine's father and enter her house to sing a duet in the wee hours…

7: Any movie involving separated brothers SHOULD have a family song which is sung by the brothers and their kuruttu amma.

Rules for Police

8: The police inspectors should reach the scene of crime after LAST.The police officers usually molest innocent girls who happen to b the sister or lover of the hero.

9: Most important of all the hero should say a punch dialogue something which goes like…

"en peru kabali ……… pick pocket kabali"

10: During fight sequences the puny hero (who mostly happens to be a 60+ Kelavan in Telugu movies) beats up 20 super muscular thugs to save his lover and a rain song follows.

11: At the end the card "THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER" is screened and the idiotic fans wrinkle their wet hanky's and move out of the theatre.

This is the end of part one of this series,still to come are :

T.RAJENDER'S PUNCH LINES

RAJNI AT HIS BEST

Vijaykanth - Engal Annan

By Sats

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